A Movie We Never Asked For: A Remake of 'Death At A Funeral'

Three short years ago a movie came out. It was called 'Death at a Funeral'. It was British. It was about a group of people in a family that come together for a funeral. Several things occur, such as the funeral parlor bringing the wrong body, the discovery the dad was gay and was with his long-time partner who also happens to be a midget, one of the family members with some anxiety issues accidentally being fed some mind-altering drugs instead of Valium...the list of things goes on and on. It's very funny, it has a great cast including Peter Dinklage, Alan Tudyk and Matthew MacFayden. It's got the funny British comedy and charm and Alan Tudyk 100% steals the movie. Here is the trailer:



Now...someone thought it was not only required to remake this movie, but make it in the style of a stupid Martin Lawrence/Tracy Morgan/Chris Rock vehicle wherein the above mentioned names play themselves. Oh and instead of Alan Tudyk we are given James Marsden as the unwilling drug-taker who stumbles around like a madman. The problem with this is that Marsden, while pretty to look at and an alright actor, is not Alan Tudyk. He isn't funny like Tudyk. He isn't charming like Tudyk. For God's sake, he isn't Tudyk. Also, I suspect he shall just be the "look at that stupid funny white boy" character. I also assume his wife/girlfriend will have to constantly defend why she's with this crazy white boy. Oh Dinklage, for some reason, is the only one in both movies, playing the same character. Here are the stupid things that go down in the "remake": The wrong body brought to the funeral is a Chinese man. Not funny, considering the original was a body that COULD have belonged to the family. This version it's just stupid. One woman gets smacked in the face by the mother. There are comments about a date being real young but her ass being in grad school...yes, that happens. There are some midget jokes too. Hahahaha...so unfunny all around. Yeah. Here is the retched trailer.



Terrible.



Considering the original is only three years old, I don't really know why it would be required to make a new one at all, let alone a version so markedly different, so obviously trying to be original and "fresh" while just seeming completely unnecessary.

NOOOOOO STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!

Now we get an American remake for 'El Orfanato'. Why? Because no studio has original ideas and the original ideas out there are not accepted by studios. So, instead, we get this. An English, American version of 'El Orfanato'.

In case you've never seen the original movie, I highly recommend it. It's creepy, scary, sad and wonderful and definitely NOT needed as a remake. Really if you can manage to bring yourself to read the subtitles, you'll be happy. It's not that hard. Or learn Spanish, either/or.

I've said this before regarding American remakes, there is nothing wrong with the originals. Remaking them is like saying the originals aren't good enough, or that because they are foreign they need to be made "right". This may be a wrong thought, but to me this is what it sounds like. I wonder if it's the thought that foreigners think when they read Americans are remaking their already great movies? Another reason they aren't needed is that in some cases, like 'Den Osynlige' ('The Invisible'), they remake them pretty much like the original and yet, somehow, manage to make them blah...And they change the ending to make it "happy". The whole damn movie is depressing, yet, let's make it a heart-felt, "American" ending.