Ooh! A movie where Colin Farrell plays an Irishman. I've always been a bit of a fan of Farrell, even though he IS a bit of a man-whore in real life.
In this movie he plays an Irish fisherman who catches a woman in his net. She's not dead, but it's suggested that she may be a selkie. It's also suggested, by the appearance of a mysterious man, that she may have been running from someone. Either way, this movie looks pretty good. Beautiful scenery, good actors and what sounds like a pretty decent script and no animated/real life talking animals.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
'Män som hatar kvinnor' (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)...
AKA another awesome Swedish/foreign movie that is soon to be remade in the US in a sub par manner.
This looks awesome. Here are some trailers/spots:
This looks awesome. Here are some trailers/spots:
Monday, April 5, 2010
'Human Centipede' Trailer
Alright...I would not recommend anyone actually viewing this trailer or movie unless you are a seriously sadistic fuck. I did because I had to bite the bullet for everyone else; you are welcome.
Seriously. Don't watch it. It takes the movie genre of 'Torture Porn' way past the point of gross and sick, but still somewhat enjoyable and goes straight to the worst sadistic shit you could imagine. It's gross.
Basically two American girls on vacation in Germany get a flat tire (they are REALLY bad actors too) and, of course, they are "horribly lost" and it's raining and they come across a house where a crazy German doctor lets them in. He then proceeds to make them into a human centipede. You don't need to know more, just assume it includes gross things that will make the audience wretch.
Seriously. Don't watch it. It takes the movie genre of 'Torture Porn' way past the point of gross and sick, but still somewhat enjoyable and goes straight to the worst sadistic shit you could imagine. It's gross.
Basically two American girls on vacation in Germany get a flat tire (they are REALLY bad actors too) and, of course, they are "horribly lost" and it's raining and they come across a house where a crazy German doctor lets them in. He then proceeds to make them into a human centipede. You don't need to know more, just assume it includes gross things that will make the audience wretch.
'Splice'
Mamma like! This is something I heard about awhile ago and I'm glad it looks so creepy and weird and wrong!
Basically, some scientists cloned a human with something else and since it's illegal to clone humans and this isn't technically human, it's A-OK! Unfortunately the thing is growing rapidly and appears to be killing everything. It's also some kind of weird girl-gargoyle thingy. Ick and awesome!
Here's a clip!
Basically, some scientists cloned a human with something else and since it's illegal to clone humans and this isn't technically human, it's A-OK! Unfortunately the thing is growing rapidly and appears to be killing everything. It's also some kind of weird girl-gargoyle thingy. Ick and awesome!
Here's a clip!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
A Movie We Never Asked For: A Remake of 'Death At A Funeral'
Three short years ago a movie came out. It was called 'Death at a Funeral'. It was British. It was about a group of people in a family that come together for a funeral. Several things occur, such as the funeral parlor bringing the wrong body, the discovery the dad was gay and was with his long-time partner who also happens to be a midget, one of the family members with some anxiety issues accidentally being fed some mind-altering drugs instead of Valium...the list of things goes on and on. It's very funny, it has a great cast including Peter Dinklage, Alan Tudyk and Matthew MacFayden. It's got the funny British comedy and charm and Alan Tudyk 100% steals the movie. Here is the trailer:
Now...someone thought it was not only required to remake this movie, but make it in the style of a stupid Martin Lawrence/Tracy Morgan/Chris Rock vehicle wherein the above mentioned names play themselves. Oh and instead of Alan Tudyk we are given James Marsden as the unwilling drug-taker who stumbles around like a madman. The problem with this is that Marsden, while pretty to look at and an alright actor, is not Alan Tudyk. He isn't funny like Tudyk. He isn't charming like Tudyk. For God's sake, he isn't Tudyk. Also, I suspect he shall just be the "look at that stupid funny white boy" character. I also assume his wife/girlfriend will have to constantly defend why she's with this crazy white boy. Oh Dinklage, for some reason, is the only one in both movies, playing the same character. Here are the stupid things that go down in the "remake": The wrong body brought to the funeral is a Chinese man. Not funny, considering the original was a body that COULD have belonged to the family. This version it's just stupid. One woman gets smacked in the face by the mother. There are comments about a date being real young but her ass being in grad school...yes, that happens. There are some midget jokes too. Hahahaha...so unfunny all around. Yeah. Here is the retched trailer.
Terrible.
Considering the original is only three years old, I don't really know why it would be required to make a new one at all, let alone a version so markedly different, so obviously trying to be original and "fresh" while just seeming completely unnecessary.
Now...someone thought it was not only required to remake this movie, but make it in the style of a stupid Martin Lawrence/Tracy Morgan/Chris Rock vehicle wherein the above mentioned names play themselves. Oh and instead of Alan Tudyk we are given James Marsden as the unwilling drug-taker who stumbles around like a madman. The problem with this is that Marsden, while pretty to look at and an alright actor, is not Alan Tudyk. He isn't funny like Tudyk. He isn't charming like Tudyk. For God's sake, he isn't Tudyk. Also, I suspect he shall just be the "look at that stupid funny white boy" character. I also assume his wife/girlfriend will have to constantly defend why she's with this crazy white boy. Oh Dinklage, for some reason, is the only one in both movies, playing the same character. Here are the stupid things that go down in the "remake": The wrong body brought to the funeral is a Chinese man. Not funny, considering the original was a body that COULD have belonged to the family. This version it's just stupid. One woman gets smacked in the face by the mother. There are comments about a date being real young but her ass being in grad school...yes, that happens. There are some midget jokes too. Hahahaha...so unfunny all around. Yeah. Here is the retched trailer.
Terrible.
Considering the original is only three years old, I don't really know why it would be required to make a new one at all, let alone a version so markedly different, so obviously trying to be original and "fresh" while just seeming completely unnecessary.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The best of the 'The 48th Annual Ann Arbor Film Fest' This Animated Life night
The other day I covered the best of the opening night. So tonight I am throwing out the best of what I watched Friday night at the animation portion called 'This Animated Life'.
Once again there were some really good movies and then there were some really bad and seriously hard to watch movies.
'Alma'
I saw this online awhile ago and thought it was just so creepy and weird and wonderful that when I saw it listed in the program for the festival I just HAD to go see it on the big screen. It is probably the best in terms of actually having a story and also being really professional in appearance. 'Alma' is about a little girl of the same name, who happens upon a toy store with a doll that looks just like her standing in the window. Upon closer inspection that doll moves further into the store...watch to see what happens.
'The Black Dog's Progress'
A short animated film told through multiple flip books that are both completely adorable and then, quickly, morph into incredibly disturbing. Makes you really feel for the little black dog.
'Please Say Something'
A collection of short episodes about the relationship between a cat and a mouse. The animation is really adorable, the sounds are precious and the subject matter is quite heavy at times.
'Horn Dog'
The really wrong tale of a dog that is in love with some other dog. It's very funny and, like I said, very wrong. Here is a clip since I didn't see the whole short online. Sorry.
Once again there were some really good movies and then there were some really bad and seriously hard to watch movies.
'Alma'
I saw this online awhile ago and thought it was just so creepy and weird and wonderful that when I saw it listed in the program for the festival I just HAD to go see it on the big screen. It is probably the best in terms of actually having a story and also being really professional in appearance. 'Alma' is about a little girl of the same name, who happens upon a toy store with a doll that looks just like her standing in the window. Upon closer inspection that doll moves further into the store...watch to see what happens.
'The Black Dog's Progress'
A short animated film told through multiple flip books that are both completely adorable and then, quickly, morph into incredibly disturbing. Makes you really feel for the little black dog.
'Please Say Something'
A collection of short episodes about the relationship between a cat and a mouse. The animation is really adorable, the sounds are precious and the subject matter is quite heavy at times.
'Horn Dog'
The really wrong tale of a dog that is in love with some other dog. It's very funny and, like I said, very wrong. Here is a clip since I didn't see the whole short online. Sorry.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The best of the 'The 48th Annual Ann Arbor Film Fest' opening night!
I went to the opening night festivities of the Ann Arbor Film Festival last night. I've never been there before but since I'm all into this crap now and going to school for film, I figured I should go and see if I like it (next year I may get the festival pass). I did, even though several of the films shown were what I would call...awful.
The Ann Arbor Film Fest is an experimental film fest, so it makes sense that a lot of these films were, how do I say it delicately, mind-bendingly bad. But this post is about the best films from last night, not the worst...I'll get to that in time.
'El ataque de los robots de Nebulosa-5'
An absolutely charming little film about a man who, I believe, either gets drunk at his birthday party or has a fit of some kind, and has a vision of robots from Nebulosa-5 coming to him to inform him of their impending invasion. He tries to tell his mother and cousin about it, but they don't believe him. The neighbor and his brother sometimes come and make fun of him, but still he waits in the park next to his house where the dogs shit for the invastion to come.
The film is black and white, has some good looking shots, has a very distinctive lead actor and is very unique.
'Missed Aches'
Joanna Priestly's Flash animated short about spell-check errors is so funny and fresh. I laughed so hard at this and loved the cute little characters. Wish the whole thing was online.
Here's a preview:
'Photograph of Jesus'
This is one of the best of last night because it's so funny and so imaginative. It covers some weird requests for photos from the Hulton Archive/Getty Images collection. Requests like a photo of Jack the Ripper, Jesus, a yeti, etc...you know, things that no one has photos of. The film is animated with a voice over from a man who works in the archive and it's quite entertaining.
'Fantasy Suite'
Unfortunately this isn't online, at least I can't find it. This was seriously hilarious! Kent Lambert took footage from some crappy 80's movies and The Bachelor and melded them into some kind of humorous commentary on western heterosexual romance (got that from the A2 Film Fest book, since I couldn't describe it myself). He slowed down the clips from The Bachelor, making it really funny and also, somehow, making the show interesting to watch. It was great!
Here is Kent talking about the film last night:
The Ann Arbor Film Fest is an experimental film fest, so it makes sense that a lot of these films were, how do I say it delicately, mind-bendingly bad. But this post is about the best films from last night, not the worst...I'll get to that in time.
'El ataque de los robots de Nebulosa-5'
An absolutely charming little film about a man who, I believe, either gets drunk at his birthday party or has a fit of some kind, and has a vision of robots from Nebulosa-5 coming to him to inform him of their impending invasion. He tries to tell his mother and cousin about it, but they don't believe him. The neighbor and his brother sometimes come and make fun of him, but still he waits in the park next to his house where the dogs shit for the invastion to come.
The film is black and white, has some good looking shots, has a very distinctive lead actor and is very unique.
'Missed Aches'
Joanna Priestly's Flash animated short about spell-check errors is so funny and fresh. I laughed so hard at this and loved the cute little characters. Wish the whole thing was online.
Here's a preview:
'Photograph of Jesus'
This is one of the best of last night because it's so funny and so imaginative. It covers some weird requests for photos from the Hulton Archive/Getty Images collection. Requests like a photo of Jack the Ripper, Jesus, a yeti, etc...you know, things that no one has photos of. The film is animated with a voice over from a man who works in the archive and it's quite entertaining.
'Fantasy Suite'
Unfortunately this isn't online, at least I can't find it. This was seriously hilarious! Kent Lambert took footage from some crappy 80's movies and The Bachelor and melded them into some kind of humorous commentary on western heterosexual romance (got that from the A2 Film Fest book, since I couldn't describe it myself). He slowed down the clips from The Bachelor, making it really funny and also, somehow, making the show interesting to watch. It was great!
Here is Kent talking about the film last night:
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