Monday, January 11, 2010

'Frozen' trailer

Ok, before I even watch this trailer, it sounds a lot like 'Open Water' only on the ski lifts.

Here's a rundown pre-trailer watching. Three snowboarders get left on the ski lift and the ski patrol turns off the lights and lift until the following weekend. They start getting hypothermia and I start getting angry over the fact that there is NO WAY a ski resort would leave passengers stranded on the ski lifts. Even if they are closed until the next weekend, they would have security or something on the resort so that people don't come and ride down the mountains while they are closed.

Let's see if I start getting angry while I watch the trailer:

- "14 Miles up...dangling from a one can hear you freeze"

- I bet at the end they unstrap their coats and plummet into the waiting mouths of the sharks below.

- Actual words on the screen: "Will do for skiing what JAWS did for swimming". Oh dear God!

-Why the fuck would wolves be running around under them? That would seem like a little bit of a tough meal to wait for. I mean, they'd be better off going and finding a deer, or something over three moronic humans on a ski lift dangling from the line.

- Oh sweet merciful crap! Here are the last things that flash by: At least one person getting nom-nom'd on by at least one wolf. One of them (probably the nom-nom one) jumping from the lift. First legs out, then legs straight down until a sickening celery-stalk crunch rings out no doubt. And the girl one getting her bare hand frozen to the ski lift.

This is probably going to be one of the dumbest movies of 2010. And that tagline I made up better not get stolen by the studio. I'm copywriting that bitch!

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