Tuesday, April 27, 2010

True Blood Season 3 Mini-episodes

Yes, yes it is time (almost) once again for another awesome summer filled with True Blood. It's the smut/funny/over-the-top/ridiculous fun I crave and it's my summer obsession.

Here is a little mini-ep featuring Eric (Hallaloojah's) and Pam auditioning dancers for their club, Fangtasia. They all suck badly, but the last one is special. Can't wait to see where this goes. Oh and Skarsgård breaks out the sexy Swedish.

Is it June 13th yet?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

'Best Worst Movie' Trailer

In 1989 one of the worst movies ever made, was made. It was called Troll 2. Unlike Troll it did not scare the shit out of me and make me afraid that trolls were going to come into my room at night and steal me away. Instead, it made me laugh my ass off.

Now there is a documentary about the cast and the fame the movie has as the so-called worst movie ever. It's such a bad movie, it's great. Unlike, say, Dragonball-Z, or 90% of the stuff that comes out which is bad and not at all humorous.

The funny part is that it really isn't Troll 2. There are no trolls in this movie. There is no Atreyu. There are in fact goblins, which appear to just be midgets in potato sacks and sweatpants with bad papier-mâché masks. It's glorious, simply glorious.

'Ondine' Trailer

Ooh! A movie where Colin Farrell plays an Irishman. I've always been a bit of a fan of Farrell, even though he IS a bit of a man-whore in real life.

In this movie he plays an Irish fisherman who catches a woman in his net. She's not dead, but it's suggested that she may be a selkie. It's also suggested, by the appearance of a mysterious man, that she may have been running from someone. Either way, this movie looks pretty good. Beautiful scenery, good actors and what sounds like a pretty decent script and no animated/real life talking animals.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

'Män som hatar kvinnor' (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo)...

AKA another awesome Swedish/foreign movie that is soon to be remade in the US in a sub par manner.

This looks awesome. Here are some trailers/spots:

Monday, April 5, 2010

'Human Centipede' Trailer

Alright...I would not recommend anyone actually viewing this trailer or movie unless you are a seriously sadistic fuck. I did because I had to bite the bullet for everyone else; you are welcome.

Seriously. Don't watch it. It takes the movie genre of 'Torture Porn' way past the point of gross and sick, but still somewhat enjoyable and goes straight to the worst sadistic shit you could imagine. It's gross.

Basically two American girls on vacation in Germany get a flat tire (they are REALLY bad actors too) and, of course, they are "horribly lost" and it's raining and they come across a house where a crazy German doctor lets them in. He then proceeds to make them into a human centipede. You don't need to know more, just assume it includes gross things that will make the audience wretch.


Mamma like! This is something I heard about awhile ago and I'm glad it looks so creepy and weird and wrong!

Basically, some scientists cloned a human with something else and since it's illegal to clone humans and this isn't technically human, it's A-OK! Unfortunately the thing is growing rapidly and appears to be killing everything. It's also some kind of weird girl-gargoyle thingy. Ick and awesome!

Here's a clip!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Movie We Never Asked For: A Remake of 'Death At A Funeral'

Three short years ago a movie came out. It was called 'Death at a Funeral'. It was British. It was about a group of people in a family that come together for a funeral. Several things occur, such as the funeral parlor bringing the wrong body, the discovery the dad was gay and was with his long-time partner who also happens to be a midget, one of the family members with some anxiety issues accidentally being fed some mind-altering drugs instead of Valium...the list of things goes on and on. It's very funny, it has a great cast including Peter Dinklage, Alan Tudyk and Matthew MacFayden. It's got the funny British comedy and charm and Alan Tudyk 100% steals the movie. Here is the trailer:

Now...someone thought it was not only required to remake this movie, but make it in the style of a stupid Martin Lawrence/Tracy Morgan/Chris Rock vehicle wherein the above mentioned names play themselves. Oh and instead of Alan Tudyk we are given James Marsden as the unwilling drug-taker who stumbles around like a madman. The problem with this is that Marsden, while pretty to look at and an alright actor, is not Alan Tudyk. He isn't funny like Tudyk. He isn't charming like Tudyk. For God's sake, he isn't Tudyk. Also, I suspect he shall just be the "look at that stupid funny white boy" character. I also assume his wife/girlfriend will have to constantly defend why she's with this crazy white boy. Oh Dinklage, for some reason, is the only one in both movies, playing the same character. Here are the stupid things that go down in the "remake": The wrong body brought to the funeral is a Chinese man. Not funny, considering the original was a body that COULD have belonged to the family. This version it's just stupid. One woman gets smacked in the face by the mother. There are comments about a date being real young but her ass being in grad school...yes, that happens. There are some midget jokes too. Hahahaha...so unfunny all around. Yeah. Here is the retched trailer.


Considering the original is only three years old, I don't really know why it would be required to make a new one at all, let alone a version so markedly different, so obviously trying to be original and "fresh" while just seeming completely unnecessary.