Monday, December 21, 2009

'Re-Wire' trailer

"This machine will re-wire you. Make you normal" I bet it doesn't make him normal. Not normal at all. In fact, I bet shit starts to fall apart and, guessing by the growl at the end, maybe creates more fear than it takes away.

Thanks for pointing me at these things today!

Re-Wire (2009) Trailer from David Fernandes on Vimeo.

'Alma' animated short is CREEEEPY!

Think dolls come to life and wander around at night? Scared of being in a toy store at night by yourself? Then this is the animated short for you!

Watch as cute little Alma encounters a store with a doll that looks just like her. And then see what happens to her! It's creepy, original and awesome and all in a few minutes.

It's the perfect treat to watch after getting all pissed off from watching 'Dogs vs. Cats'.

Alma from Rodrigo Blaas on Vimeo.

'Cats vs. Dogs: Revenge of dumb talking animals'

I hate these movies. I hate animated, talking animals. What do I hate MORE than animates talking animals? Why, I hate REAL animals that are animated to talk, that's what. I think drug references, and Bond references and trying to cover up the fact they wanted to call it 'Revenge of Pussy Galore' but most likely couldn't get it past censors, is stupid. It's dumb. And making kids want to go see the "cute little animals" (that aren't cute when made to talk and move their mouths) so their parents have to sit through 80 to 90 minutes of mind-numbing stupidity, is stupid.

The entire premise of this movie, which I've since learned is a sequel, is that this ugly cat is trying to get revenge and dressed up like a puppy and infiltrated some house and now all the cats and dogs have to save the world, or some garbage.

Why does this anger me so? Because after a year of some really good kids' movies (UP, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs), 2010 gives us this tripe. And it's tripe people will go see and then they'll make more tripe from a different animal, if you like the metaphor.

'Alice in Wonderland' Trailer

Will I see this? Yes. Why? Because Tim Burton movies are visually stunning, always, even if they are nothing else.

Are there any surprises with this movie? Probably not. We all know the story. But, maybe they'll make it more like the original story. Who knows? All I know is that my eye balls like what they see. Weird, crazy. colorful worlds of strange. Exactly how I like my Tim Burton.

'Robin Hood' Trailer

I have always preferred my Scott to be Ridley over Tony. Why? Blade Runner, that's why.

Anyway, here is the trailer for the Russell Crowe starring 'Robin Hood' movie. Looks kinda awesome, but then again most everything Ridley does is awesome in some manner. you go.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

If we work hard enough...we CAN succeed!

Alright, I've said it before. If you stop going to see crappy movies, they will stop making them. Case in point: Some awful movie with Robin Williams was scrapped by Disney after Old Dogs performed horribly bad. This is something I could have told them before wasting money on it, but whatever. Now, news rolls in that the sequel to Wild Hogs, Wild Hogs 2: Bachelor Ride (yeah...that was the name), has been scrapped as well.

Now, let's give it a go with movies like 'Chipmunks 2: Electric Boogaloo' or whatever the abomination with chipmunks that talk, go to school and hit on human woman is. This should be the mission of all parents and singles out there. We can't do this alone. Lie to your children and tell them the movie is sold out, not out yet, you missed it; whatever it takes to stop them from making live-action/CGI-talking animal movies. If we try hard enough maybe we can stop the Marmaduke movie I just saw a poster for last weekend.

I'd say to try to stop Roland Emmerich movies, but even though I hate his movies, I have to say...without them my masterpiece Code Name: Rainbow Brite couldn't have been a reality.

I Watch Stuff

Thursday, December 10, 2009

"That Evening Sun" Trailer

I was transcribing a show today and I came across this movie being highlighted. It.looks.awesome!

It's about an 80 some year old man who was put in an old folks home where he felt he was rotting away. He feels that if you died in your sleep they'd just roll you over and put someone else in your place, so he leaves. He goes back to his house and finds a family of white trash folks living there. They rented the house from the old man's son. But, the old man isn't giving up on the house and farm since he wants it. The father/husband of the white trash family wants him to leave and also appears to beat his daughter with a hose. Things seem to go downhill from there.

I really want to see this movie and I hope it gets wider release when it finally comes out.

Check out the trailers below. I have nothing funny to say about this movie, it plain looks awesome!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

'Sorcerer's Apprentice' Trailer

Look! It's Nic Cage playing Nic Cage as a sorcerer in a stupid wig! I can tell it's Nic Cage because they character completely lacks any and all emotion whilst delivering his "lines".

The worst part of this trailer, which doesn't seem THAT bad overall, is the car that morphs from a beautiful classic car into a beautiful new car and then, for some reason, flips/jumps in a disjointed manner through a mirror that is placed in the middle of the road...on purpose and badly flips back on four wheels. Is it alive? Because it's behaving in a manner that would suggest it's alive. Also, the animation looked like shit.

Kids In the Hall 'Death Comes To Town' trailer

Holy crap! I haven't posted anything for no one but me to read for awhile. Now that my trailer for class is done, and I can throw it on here later, I can return to posting.

What a wonderful treat for everyone: The Kids In the Hall trailer for their 8-part series, 'Death Comes To Town'. If you are unfamiliar with The Kids In the Hall, I recommend you find some way to get to know them. May I recommend 'Brain Candy'? Because I am, and you should watch it and laugh.

This is a glorious treat for everyone!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

'Transforminators' trailer mash-up

A really well done (it is by the Black20 guys) trailer mashup. Mixes Transformers, Terminator (Salvation and T2) and American Psycho (for a couple frames). I should have known the minutes the voices were so well done that Black20 was behind it.

I'm going to do a little feature on them when I am not so incredibly busy I have no time to waste on video games and movies.

'Matrix' Trinity Help scene with LEGO's!

Here's a little video of the bullet dodge scene from The Matrix. It took them 440 hours to make. I think I spent that much time playing Fallout 3. I believe we both accomplished a lot (I didn't accomplish anything).

Good going guys!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

'Leap Year' Trailer

I was ready to massacre this one, but I think it looks kinds cute in that chick-flick way. In that, "She better choose the hotter "Irish" guy at the end after she finds out her boyfriend was cheating on her" way. If that doesn't happen it will be like the Sex and the City movie where there is no way in hell she should have ended up with the dude who left her at the altar. Plus, Matthew Goode is hot and even though he isn't Irish, I think I buy him as Irish.

The movie is about a woman who flies to Dublin to propose to her boyfriend following a tradition where women propose on leap year, or something. But her plans are put off course and she lands in Wales and meets Goode's character, an innkeeper, who agrees to drive her to Dublin to meet her boyfriend. A whole bunch of shit happens in typical chick-flick fashion, but who cares.

'Clash of the Titans' Teaser

I should only have to say two words to make this a convincing draw: Sam. And Worthington. I don't care what he wears, when or what he's doing. I will go see it. It's kind of like Alex Skarsgård and me. He can do anything and I'll watch it. That goes for The Worthington.

In this movie it looks like some Titans clash. It looks pretty cool, but could be awful. I'll see it anyway...because of The Worthington.

'Salt' Trailer

Finally, a trailer for a movie that looks good. It has one of my favorites: Chiwetel Ejiofor...with an American accent. Also an Angelina Jolie playing a character I am intrigued by.

She plays Evelyn Salt, a CIA officer who is called in to question a walk-in, Vasiley something-or-other. He says that he has some information on an operative that is coming to kill the president. She asks him who he is and when they tell her he doesn't exist, she tells him he is good and gets up to leave telling him that he can explain it all to one of her co-workers. At which point he tells her that the name of the Russian spy is Evelyn Salt. She then takes off and supposedly tries to save her family from the government who are after her now for being said spy.

It looks awesome and I hope there's that moment where we find out she really is a spy and was supposed to kill the president but this dude fucked it all up.

'The Slammin' Salmon' Trailer

I'm sure like most of their movies, this is going to be funnier than the trailer makes it sound. At least I hope so, because this looks awful based on the trailer alone.
The basic idea is that Michael Clarke Duncan plays an old boxer that opens a restaurant full of idiots for employees. He then offers them a bunch of money for doing something.

'Kick-Ass' Trailer

I don't know about this one...They aren't superheroes because they don't have powers, but they are pretending to be superheroes and they have powers? I don't know, seems like unless they fail miserably at every take-down, I might think this is stupid. That and it looks stupid.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

3 Reasons You Should Start Watching 'Supernatural' Last Week

I love Supernatural, that isn't new. I've been watching since midway through the first season. It's a lovely blend of scary and funny. It has a mythology that runs throughout some stand-alone episodes. It is acted brilliantly and it has two lovely lead actors. What's not to like?

If you are unfamiliar with the show, I recommend you go buy the previous seasons and then start watching them. I may go back and highlight some of the best episodes later, but for feast your eyes on some scenes from last week's brilliantly hilarious episode, "Changing Channels". The boys get sucked into "TV Land" and hi-jinks ensue and unlike most times I say "hi-jinks ensue", I really mean it this time.

Monday, November 2, 2009

"Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" Trailer

Didn't think I'd actually say, "It looks good", but it doesn't look that bad. I still don't get Jake Gyllenhaal being the Prince of Persia, but at least they appear to have placed the movie back in the day. I would have suggested either Sendhil Ramamurthy or Naveen Andrews.

And at least they look like the game, however, they should have, I don't know...Arabian accents. Why do they always have British accents? If they had been conquered by Brits, then yeah...but they weren't.

Friday, October 30, 2009

New 'Shutter Island' trailer

I've said it once and I'll say it want my attention all you need is an insane asylum, a time period somewhere between 1920's-1960's, and a good story and I am hooked. I'm pumped about this movie, but I don't want to wait until February since I will be busy with playing Bioshock 2.

I think if they'll stay on the books' story I will be happy. Do it for me, Scorcese! Do it for ME!

If you haven't read the book, go and read it. It's a great, creepy, quick, twist-ending read.

Shutter Island - Exclusive Trailer

Thursday, October 29, 2009

New 'Avatar' trailer that makes you say YAY instead of Say What?

A couple months ago they rolled out a teaser trailer for 'Avatar' that, while interesting, made you think more like, "What the hell is this movie about?" instead of "I can't wait to see this".

Many pointed out that the teaser pretty much looked like a longer, higher budget, 3D version of Delgo...not a good thing. I haven't seen 'Delgo' but it looked pretty awful. After seeing the teaser for 'Avatar' I also had no desire to sit in a theatre for 3 hours and watch 'Delgo' play out in 3D by the hand of James Cameron.*


There also just isn't enough Sam Worthington for my liking.

Then the NEW polished, fresh trailer came out. I saw it yesterday and I was blown away. It looks epic, original(ish) fresh, fun, colorful and there was more Sam Worthington than you can shake a stick at. It also gave you an idea of what the movie is actually about. Let's watch it first:'s the low-down. Humans find this planet where there is some kind of ore that sells for a shitload of dollar signs (or lbs sterling...whatever currency you like). Unfortunately, as so often happens to use poor humans, the planet is already full of lifeforms that aren't us. One of which happens to be a sentient race called the Navi. The humans decide they want to get rid of the Navi but they are hard to kill off. Sigourney Weaver appears to be there to find a diplomatic way to solve the issue, but of course, the Marines are there to NOT do that. This is where my Australian love (along with Guy...don't worry) Sam Worthington (Sully)comes in. He is a paralyzed former-Marine who was told that if he takes part in this experimental procedure to make an avatar out of human and Navi DNA then, I am only guessing here, they can infiltrate the Navi and get rid of them. The Worthington seriously has never looked better than he does at 2:25/2:26...
Sully starts to realize that these aren't just some random life form that humans should get rid of and decides to try to stop the head Marine with the scars on his face/head. He's the baddy. Sully and sadly, Michelle Rodriguez, are now on the side of the Navi where an epic battle will play out to keep the humans from killing off the alien life forms for their own gain (not that it will work, because this is what humans do: We try to kill things because they have what we want...'tis the human way...)

*In all fairness, 'Delgo' had to have been copied from 'Avatar' as ol' Jimmy has been working on it for 10 years.

Friday, October 23, 2009

'Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans' Trailer

I'm not sure why there is a recent desire, nay, need to name every movie with 42 different words. Is 'Bad Lieutenant' not good enough? It must have the Port of New Orleans? Is the reason New Orleans is there because we want to make sure everyone knows it takes place/was filmed in New Orleans? Because if that was the case, just name it Port of New Orleans.

I do think it might be okay to see. Yes Nicolas Cage continues to play a variation of Nicolas Cage. That would be "Crazy Eyes"-Cage.

Next up: Half-way Decent Laundry Cleaner: Angel of New-South Hamptom Wales New Zealand Key Largo-East.

'The Men Who Stare At Goats' Feature Trailer

Another trailer for this movie with the long name. It still looks funny as shit. Check out the spot where Jeff Bridges appears to be skipping around like a hippie. Straight up funny!

'Sherlock Holmes' Trailer B

Still looks entertaining and Robert Downey Jr. still looks hot. Not being a drug addict looks good on him!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

'The Spy Next Door' Trailer

Oh look! It's a play on words. See...instead of the GUY next door, it's the SPY next door! SOOOO clever!

Well, it's also 'The Pacifier' but with Jackie Chan making an ass of himself instead of Vin Diesel making an ass of himself.

Here's the rundown of this abysmal piece of crap: Jackie Chan is the neighbor to some brats. The mom of the brats asks him to watch the kids. Hilarity is supposed to ensue, but instead we get the typical antics: The kids hate neighbor Chan, he tries to make breakfast but instead burns stuff and somehow makes oatmeal into a giant brick stuck on a fork, he feeds a pig some bacon in a sequence that is really nasty and not at all funny (why does everyone have to have a pig as a pet?), he flips a little girl end-over-end and she lands in her clothes. Yeah. Oh, and let's not forget that he's really a spy on loan to the CIA and he has to stop, Home Alone-style, a bunch of baddies who, for some reason, are attacking him in his neighbors house.

This is so bad, and such a mish-mash of about 10,000 other movies of greater or lesser (let's be honest, even the worst of the movies this one is borrowing from have to be better) that I just can't even fathom how this got Green Lit. How? Was there NO other script laying around that maybe was original?
My problem with movies of this ilk are that they are assuming that the audience is stupid and will gladly watch whatever tripe plopped in front of them. In some cases (like most of the audience that I encountered today), they are happy to literally watch whatever crap you tell them to watch. But please demand better for your children and for yourselves. This movie is BAD!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Movie You Should See: 'L.A. Confidential'

I think there are about three people who haven't seen this movie, if you are one of them you should get yourself a copy immediately and watch it.

It not only was a launching vehicle for the careers of Guy Pearce (Who I love!) and Russell Crowe, but it also has that other adorable Australian, Simon Baker. He's only in it for a few scenes, but he's there.

L.A. Confidential is, like most of the books by the incredibly talented writer James Ellroy, a sweeping tale of several crimes and the three cops that have to work together (or apart) to solve them. It also has an incredible "Holy shit! I didn't see that coming" moment.

Just go rent it.

Friday, October 9, 2009

'Shutter Island' Feature Trailer

I don't know why we aren't getting this until February, there must be too many important talking, animated animal movies due out between now and then.

The book by Dennis Lehane was a good read and was incredibly statisfying, so I really hope this will be a lot like the book. From what I've seen just in the teaser and trailer, it seems to fit in with the book barring some scenes. There are also some incredible shots and it just looks gorgeous. I can't wait!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Cast of 'Predator' remake, say it ain't so...

I'm sorry...but Adrian Brody and Topher Grace in the unnecessary and un-asked for "remake" of Predator? This is seriously a joke right? It can't be true.

How can you go from these guys:

Yeah...Arnold, Jesse Ventura, Carl Weathers, Sonny Landham, super-huge biceps and chew and swearing; guys you believe could at least stand a chance against a monster/alien in a freakin' jungle.

To these twirpy boys? If these burly dudes don't make it out and the "jungle comes alive and takes them", what the hell chance do these two skinny fucks have?

I mean, I like Topher Grace and all, and I know "acting" wasn't a requirement for 'Predator' the first and second go-rounds (I don't count the other 45 rehashings because they are, well, stupid), so since he isn't really a good actor that isn't the problem. The problem is that you are casting two guys whose weight and body mass COMBINED doesn't equal the heft of one eyelash of ANY of the original cast.

On the other hand, I have NO idea what the plot is and it will no doubt involve one or both of these guys playing "scientists" &/or "government liasons" who get sucked into a terrible situation dealing with a government secret &/or genetic mutations...that is just a given because I can't seriously be expected to believe either of these dudes could be paramilitary/mercenaries/guys who could hold their own without pomade and a chauffeured limosine and a latte.

And one of my favorite things about 'Predator' is the gah-donk-a-donk-a-donk-a music that I can't find (Hey, there is a used copy of Alan Silvestri's soundtrack on Amazon for $188.00!) a sample of; it's when they are trouncing around the jungle and the 'Predator' is tracking them. Watch it, you'll know it!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

An Effects-less clip of '2012'

Here is what you get when you take all of the effects out of a 5 minute clip from the sure-to-be crappy movie '2012'. I say it's "sure-to-be" because it's Roland Emmerich and it's going to be awful. Not even John Cusack in his never aging wonder can save it.

So here's what you get: no effects and I can just assume a better movie than what you will get after all the things exploding/falling apart/blowing up/melting/splashing/flooding, etc.

via: I Watch Stuff

Monday, September 28, 2009

'Nightmare on Elm Street' Remake

As much as I really don't think it's necessary for remaking every single movie from the 80's that I grew up with, this doesn't look that bad.

I said it doesn't LOOK that bad, I didn't say it wouldn't BE bad. Chances are it will be awful; I did watch that Jason remake, and while it wasn't terrible it was by no means good. It did have a Padalecki in it and I like that.

This remake has a Jackie Earle Haley and a John Connor. I don't know what it is about Thomas Dekker (besides his name reminding me of Rick Deckard [Blade Runner]). I mean in person he seems really odd and weird but I just think he is mesmerizing on screen. Anyway...he's in it too.

One thing I don't understand about all of these remakes is why do they think people need to know the origin stories? Can't we just be like...oh he's a nutcase who kills people for revenge (which seems to be the case usually). Like Jason, I don't care WHY he does what he does. That's like remaking Alien (please don't) and giving us an origin story as to why the aliens hate humans and want to kill them (in the case of aliens, though I would imagine the above taking place in a remake, I think the aliens more or less just kill whatever is need to EVER make an origin story out of Alien).


Sunday, September 27, 2009

'The Book of Eli' NEW trailer! Now with more GARY OLDMAN!

This is the second trailer for 'The Book of Eli' and holy crap it looks freakin' awesome! I know I've mentioned before that I have a soft spot for post-apocalyptic stuff, and this is just taking the cake!

I can just picture Barnaby (my Fallout 3 character) walking around the Wasteland with his G.E.C.K., a pack on his back, some cool shades...and I can also picture him kicking some ass a-la Denzel Washington!

Plus, Gary Oldman is in it. Who doesn't like Gary Oldman (if you say "me" I'll come and punch you!)?

The trailer is below and some Gary Oldman treats have also been included!

-Oh! Commissioner Gordon! It drips of Tony Scott crazy.

-If you haven't seen this movie, run out and get it NOW!

-Beautiful movie as well.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

'Stan Helsing' "movie"

If you watch this trailer and do anything akin to laughing, I might have to track you down and kick you in the coccyx, seriously. If possible, this "spoof" has become the dumbest piece of shit to grace a DVD. It's kind of like when that one stupid "spoof" made fun of Paris Hilton being a dumb, slutty moron; it's not funny when we all know it's true. It's not clever or ironic...or funny. Look! Pinhead has giant pins sticking out of his head, just like regular Pinhead...but they're BIGGER! Now let's laugh? Freddy Krueger has a Hamburger Helper hand that he slaps people, all standing in a row, with! And he says "bitchslap", SO 1996 and relevant. Oh my god, oh my god, let's take Van Helsing and make it Stan Helsing! It's genius (no, it isn't!).

Why? Why would someone finance this? Seriously? Someone pitched this idea to someone and that someone gave the other someone MONEY to make this...thing.

Thanks IWatchStuff ?

Saturday, September 19, 2009


'Changeling' was one of the best movies from last year, at least in my opinion. It made me fall in love with Clint Eastwood and Angelina Jolie (who should have won an Oscar for her performance and who I've sort-of liked over the years).

The movie is heart-breaking and beautifully shot and it set in the time period I live for. Check out the movie (on DVD, OnDemand, NetFlix, Blockbuster, etc) and if your heart doesn't break, you sir may be dead.

Based on the true story of Christine Collins who came home from work to find her son, Walter Collins, missing. Eventually she finds out that he was probably kidnapped by Gordon S. Northcott (the movie doesn't include the fact that his mother also was involved in the kidnap, torture and murder of at least 4 boys. His mother was convicted of killing Walter Collins and was sentenced to life in prison)and, though he won't admit once way or another, was killed.

*on another note: I want ALL her clothes and hats and her house*


Introduced to Son:

I Want My Son Back:

Dr. Steele Questions Christine:

Captain Jones Insists:

Thursday, September 17, 2009

What To Watch Tonight: Thursday

What's on TV tonight? There is a lot on, but what should you watch? Let me tell you!

8:00 p.m.: This week, there is nothing on at 8, but next week 'Flash Forward' starts and THAT is what you should be watching at 8.

Here's a promo:


9:00 p.m.:
This is bound to happen, two shows on at the same time that are both awesome. Tonight it's 'Fringe' and 'Supernatural'. Which to watch? Well, both is the answer, but that might not be possible. So either DVR one and watch the other, or DVR both, or since FOX has the far superior online viewer, watch 'Supernatural' and then tomorrow go watch 'Fringe' online (FOX actually has a great online viewer with crystal-clear display while The CW has a crappy little player that pixellates regularly and they only have around 3 episodes at a time, so if you miss the first one and week four rolls around you are out of luck).

'Fringe' Promo

'Supernatural' Promo
I'm including the first episode promo of the season too, I'm behind so I don't know what's going on. Have to catch up this afternoon. On The CW

10:00 p.m.
I've already posted about what you should watch at 10, and that would be 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia'. This show is fantastic and funny beyond belief, so watch it. It's on FX.

'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia' Season 5 promos

Dee shops for a wedding dress

Want Some?


Rope Trick

Yes, I too want to know why Dennis is wearing dark red lipstick!



Here Again

Green Trash

Old timey trailers=brilliant

I don't know who did these, mainly because I'm too lazy to go look at their YouTube profile, but I would like to marry them. These are fantastic!

First is the 1954 version of 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' starring Charleton Heston:

Next is Forrest Gump 1949 trailer starring Jimmy Stewart:

And Ghostbuster's if it were 1954 and starred Dean Martin, Jerry Lee Lewis and Bob Hope...clever, very clever.

'Vampire Diaries' Pilot

Alright, I was really hesitant to watch this show for the obvious reasons, there is a large amount of vampire stuff around, and it's on The CW. That doesn't exactly scream, "It's gonna be good!" I thought the same thing about 'Supernatural' and eventually started watching that show and fell in love with it. I don't think that is going to happen with this show and here is why:

While 'Supernatural' is also on The CW, it has charm and wit that goes along with some really creepy and messed up stuff. Plus Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are adorable and have chemistry (not sexual, just regular chemistry). Chemistry is essential in a cast, without it you just have a bunch of people spouting lines as characters that you don't really care about. I don't find chemistry among anyone in the cast of 'The Vampire Diaries', let alone the two "main" leads. I just watched it for an hour and without going to IMDB I can't tell you what their names (or any characters name, for that matter) are. They were called Elena and Stefen, if you care. This is bad, this is something I should know. Within 3 seconds of 'True Blood' I knew everyone drinking in Merlotte's by name.

Music. Oh the overuse of music in this show. It's one of the things that kept nagging at me the entire episode. I know the target demo is those that watch 'The Hills' (is that still on?), but they didn't need to make the scripted drama like an episode of 'The Hills' complete with "current" songs in every scene; sometimes more than once a scene including Placebo's remake of 'Running Up That Hill' which is a great remake, but it's already being used on the 'Daybreakers' trailer, which is a vampire movie. It was annoying. You see, in 'Supernatural' the music makes sense, it's used for dramatic effect or humor. On 'True Blood' the music is also used this way, mostly in the background on a radio or because someone is dancing or it's playing on the jukebox at Merlotte's. And most importantly on 'True Blood' is the end titles, which always have an interesting song choice (each episode is named by a song that is played at some point in the episode, but NOT loudly covering up the scene). It's the work of a great director and music supervisor. Without that you get what I watched tonight, a mish-mash of whatever someone thought "the kids" would want to hear and then run out and buy.

Unless you've never read anything I've ever posted on this blog, I absolutely LOVE True Blood. I love every little "Sooookeh" Bill makes, every stupid thing Sookie does, every dumb line Jason speaks, every left eyebrow raise and Swedish accented word (this goes for every day Skarsgård really) Eric makes, every lovely move Lafayette makes...I even (though I loathed him) liked the uselessness that was Eggs. I love the show. I love the books. Yet, I can take or leave Twilight and now 'Vampire Diaries'. Why is this? Is it because I am clearly not the target demo? I'm too old? I don't think so, you see, I love to watch 'Attack of the Show' and I KNOW I am not the target demo. What I think is the case here is that 'Twilight' and 'Vampire Diaries' are too "safe". In fact, they are almost the same damn thing. And it would seem, at first glance, that so is 'True Blood', but that isn't the case. When I watch 'True Blood' I know I'm gonna get at least one of the following: nudity, swearing, blood, something offensive to someone, and Lafayette or Eric. And that's great! I want that, that is why I am watching and paying for HBO. I am an adult damn it, I want an adult show to watch. A show that requires me to pay attention and catch the nuances that fill an Alan Ball show. I know there is camp, and smut, and cheese smothered ALL over 'True Blood', but I crave it. I don't want to watch a movie/show where vampires "shimmer" and "glimmer" in the sun; I want those bastards to burn if they hit the sun's rays. I don't want a show where they have to wear little rings to keep from burning; I want 'Anubis Air' to be their mode of travelling by the light of day. I want the typical "vampire-comes-to-town-meets-the-girl story with a twist, and that's what 'True Blood' gives me.

Now I know I might seem a little harsh on 'Vampire Diaries' and maybe even 'Twilight', but truth be told I'd rather watch either of these two items over the abysmal 90210/Melrose Place/Gossip Girl/Whatever-the-hell-that-Mischa-Barton-Show-Is. Those suck ass on a level that cannot be met even by the WORST Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie. I even enjoyed 'Twilight', even with Kristin Stewart's non-existant expressions and emotions and the glimmering. And since, at least by first episode impressions, 'Vampire Diaries' (VD?) is the same thing I don't know why it was needed other than to fill this desire to make vampire-related everything. That said, the acting isn't bad (I did mention 90210/Gossip Girl, right?) and I can't lie and say that Ian Somerhalder isn't lovely to look at in any situation (although he needs a different hairstyle on this show). However, I did prefer him as Boone on LOST and think there was SO much more to his characters' storyline than was covered. Anyway...almost everyone was good at the acting, barring a few people who were good enough not to lump them in with the above mentioned crap-shows on The CW.

So what's my final verdict? If you are over the age of, say, 25 go watch True Blood and just soak it all in. As a treat, here are some scenes from 'True Blood'.

In these scene's you get several of the things I love about TB: Blood, Lafayette, Eric, swearing, the eye-brow raise and a little cheese sprinkled with a cheeky song choice for the end: (Possible SPOILERS for TB.)

You are welcome and thanks for noticing how my rant on 'Vampire Diaries' turned into a praise for 'True Blood'.

Monday, September 14, 2009

True Blood "Beyond Here Lies Nothing" Season 2 Finale! **SPOILERS**

Now that I have my precious computer back, covered in Cheetos, I can give you little lovely screen-shots of the best moments from last night. If you play your cards right and are nice to me I might even manage to wander over to YouTube and get those Eric scenes (all ONE of them). I know how everyone loves their Eric!

What the hell can I say about this episode/finale? It was bat-shit insane on so many levels and set us up for next season in a great way. It also closed the door on everyone's favorite annoying-as-fuck, worthless character. More on that later.

I'm trying to find a format that works for me while I do these little recaps, because I plan on doing it for most, if not all, of the shows I love. Admittedly, I enjoy this show WAYYYY too much. So bear with me if they aren't really set up the same every week.

* Lafayette (filled up with crazy) tells Tara and ...Eggs that Maryann wants them downstairs with the egg. This is probably a face this guy should never. ever make again. EVER! I might not be able to sleep now. I already don't like this character.

* Big deal Lafayette, Sookie has 1000 year old vampire blood in her too, why should she take her clothes off? Oh, right...time for this gorgeous dress. Where did this dress come from, by the way?

* "What the hell are you doing in my Grandmother's wedding dress?" And not a pause from Maryann as she welcomes ol' Sook to the "party". Oh wonderful, she's the Maid of Honor. Best thing so far? Lafayette's little lady-clap there on the right.

*Credits! *Sob* Last time until next summer. Is it next summer yet? Not only will I be almost finished with school and ready to move back to L.A., but it will be time for more True Blood! "I wanna do bad things with you!" Guitar solo...

* Arlene asking which of the Old, New and Blue she is. Classic dumb Arlene. And, there in the back once again is Lafayette stealing the scene. Besides Skarsgård, no one quite steals a scene like Nelsan Ellis.

* Maryann asking Sookie to "shock" her again. Sookie doesn't know why/how she did it...but I do! "I'm a waitress...what the fuck are you?"

* I love how Mrs. Fortenberry is tied to Hoyt with string and she tries to escape with her Snicker/chips/Tabasco casserole. Om nom nom!

* Maryann tells Sookie there was something watching out for her. Flashback to the Rattrays. Allusions to there being someone "helping" her. Again, I know I know! Oh yeah, Maryann is sacrificing Sam to her soon-to-be husband because he came to her naked and a virgin. Right...that's because he broke into your house after shifting. No connection lady, sorry!

* Hallaloojah's! It's time for Eric! And he's playing Yahtzee with the Queen. Apparently they play to 5 million, or something.

* Yeah...I know, right?

* He must have been tired, I hear that accent quite heavily in this scene. And I like it! Anyway...the Queen seems a bit scatter-brained and keeps interrupting everyone. She mentions the Maenad and Eric says that's why he's there, she says don't get involved.

* The Queen mentions that Bill is in love with Sooookeh and that Eric probably is too. He sheepishly says he doesn't love humans (liar!).

* Rut-Roh! The Queen knows that Bill knows that Eric is selling her blood...for her? "The guards here hear everything" I like this quick change in the Queen. And everyone was so mean to ERW last week (She still looks gorgeous!).

* I don't know about ERW...but this would have been the worst day at work. EVER!

* It's "-uh, you-a turn to make da Yahtzee" and I love that look on his face! He's going to take care of Bill Compton...personally.

* By-the-by, this is all incredibly important and all, since it's setting up next season, but I really just wanted an excuse to slap some Skarsgård up.

* Jason and Andy going to battle and Jason says the line, "I love the smell of nail polish in the morning." Jason you are SO stupid and I love you for it!

* The orgy party is STILL on! And Andy and Jason get captured too soon. They had a plan. And Jason has Kid Glock on his side.

* "It's time's like this that the town needs a good man, and that man is us"

* Damn it! Now they both are black-eyed freaks. NOOOOO!

* Sam and Bill talk and Bill is too pale. Lay off the makeup on Moyer. "You must come with me. I declare you have no choice"

* There are FAR too many awesome lines tonight. "Ok...what is with the egg? Did you lay it?" She didn't, it's an ostrich egg. Why there needs to be a giant egg involved with the orgy party, I don't know. I don't think anyone, including the writers know. Is Eggs dead yet? Damn it, no.

* Eww...

* At least they aren't naked in this orgy. The band of morons who can't play violin, playing violin, is a lovely touch. Chuckle-worthy, if you will.

* Bill hands Sam over to Maryann. And the idiots start chanting to the God Who Never Comes.

* Sam gets stabbed in the heart. Oh crap!

* Sam tells Sookie to knock the meat-tower down and smash the egg. She does and Maryann starts shrieking and breaking everyone's ears. Again.

* Maryann gets pissed. I would too. She put a lot of work into that meat tower and all those orgies and along comes Betty Sue to mess it all up.

* Wait...what's that? That is one huge motha'ucker of a bull/oxe. Oh and it's not your husband dumbass. It's a giant bull. Yuck!

*'s Sam. Ding-dong-the Maenads dead! Storyline wrapped up a little too quickly. Everyone's all, "WTF are we doing in Sookies yard? Without clothes?" Bill's all weak and shit.

* Tara apologizes for how stupid she acted last week. And she should, she was terrible.

* Maxine Fortenberry gets all nasty, without the black eyes, about Jessica and Hoyt's pappy. She's a nasty bitch! I like Hoyt, stop being a nasty bitch to him! Jim Parrack is so adorable (even though I thought he was the killer last year!)

* All the former black-eyed morons are meandering around Sookehs house and Jane Bodehouse finds her finger in the meat tower. Andy can have his badge back because he wearing pants, that seems like a valid reason to let a drunk back on the force.

* Sam's all sad because he doesn't have useless-what's-her-tits around anymore. Um...Sam? She tried to give you to Maryann to sacrifice, forget her. And she was a pig/deer.
See...he's sad.

* Sam and Bill have a heart to heart and kiss.

* Eggs want to know what happened to him and why he can't remember things. Eggs, it's because you are annoying and NO ONE, but Tara, likes you. Go away!

* You go on to bed? Um...Sookie? Yeah, there is meat and orgy and Eggs everywhere! Go sleep at Vampire Bills. Then he can say, "Sooookeh, I declare it would be most convenient if you retired at my abode for the evening", because that's how he talks.


* Sam opened the bar and Arlenes kids are smarter than her. And the locals are gossiping again. Apparently Maryann was an alien and that's why you should drink Mountain Dew. "God bless who made those jeans. I'd wear him like a scrunchie." I concur random town-nut.

* Everyone thinks Andy is still a drunk. "It's Diet Coke with LIME!" Bubba? Bubba? Jason, I love you! Ryan Kwanten is seriously an underrated actor. Jason thinks they saved the town even though they have NO clue what happened. "If a tree falls in the woods, it's still a tree ain't it?"
Bubba makes sense after this face.

* Sam asks Sookie to look after Merlotte's. He wants a break, but really he wants to go wander to see his family and ask about his REAL parents. They are apparently bad people.

* Sookie gets a dress from Bill. I hoped it was the red coat, but I can't remember which book that's from. She gets a lovely purple dress and a "promise for a lovely evening out, which I declare I owe." I'm going to start talking like Vampire Bill, complete with the southern aristocrat accent.

* Crap, that dumb-shit Eggs hasn't spontaneously died YET! Now he wants Sookie to help him figure out what he can't remember. Should I care what "bad things" in his past he did? Because I don't. Please.die. 10 episodes ago.

* Oh yeah, Eggs killed all those people we already knew he killed. Now he knows what he did and he pretty much goes bat-shit crazy. Ugh...

* Jessica says she's leaving to see Hoyt...maybe? Then she tells Bill that they had a fight. Bill's being nice to her. "I do declare he would be a fool not to accept your apology for being angry to each other a fortnight ago"

* Sam Trammell is hot. There is a whole scene relating to what I mentioned above with Sam's family. Next season set-up. I don't know where this is going next year.

* Hoyt goes to see Jessica, but she's at a truck stop eating a dude.

* Sookie and Bill dance while Eggs pretty much attacks Andy to turn himself in. And then this happened:

Eggs was FINALLY killed via Jason and his baby-tees! If you wish and hope and dream, little boys and girls, good things will come to you. Oh Tara is upset because he's the nicest man she's ever met. Sure he beat her and ate heart souffle with her, but whatever, he was a dream!

* Bill proposes to Sookeh and she runs off to the bathroom to cry, at least she didn't get anyone in trouble on the way...oh, wait...this happened:
DAMN IT, Sooookeh! Why can't you stop getting people in trouble? That's silver!

* Sookie's all, "LALALALA I'm gonna marry Bill Compton!" And then she comes out and BLAMO! He's gone! Who took him? I know who from the books, but we all know the show doesn't always follow the books. Is it next summer yet?

Here is THE SINGLE Eric scene of the evening, since you were so nice:

Saturday, September 12, 2009

'Youth Without Youth' Review

Last night I watched this movie. I spent 2+ hours watching it. I don't know what I watched. I know Tim Roth was in it and Francis Ford Coppola wrote, produced and directed it. I also know that I am not really a fan of Coppola and this movie didn't really sway me toward becoming a fan. I didn't hate it, but I certainly did not like it either.

Before I get to the how and why and describe just what the movie is about (I think), let me show the two trailers that were released.

They show two completely different movies. The first trailer makes it seem like the movie is about a man who gets struck by lightning, lives and something happens to him making him become a person everyone wants a piece of. Then Matt Damon offers him protection and new identities. It looks interesting, and seems like an international sci-fi, espionage, thriller.

The second trailer kind of makes less sense. It's also more like the actual movie. What I mean by that is: It doesn't make any sense. It covers basically the first trailers content then adds stuff about this woman who keeps going further and further back in time. I'll explain that later. Either way, it makes little to no sense.

Here's what the movie is about: Dominic Matei, a student who has a life-long dream to figure out the origins of language, is dumped by his love Laura. Laura tells him that he is, in essence, married to his work and he'd be better off without her. He later finds out that she got married and died a year later in childbirth. Now he is a 70 year old man and has spent, I assume, the last 50 years or so alone. He ends up in a Bucharest, a city where no one knows him and he is wandering the streets with a blue envelope filled with poison to kill himself. He is then struck by lightning and survives, though badly burned. At the hospital the doctors are astounded when he begins to heal and grow younger. He leaves the hospital after he is healed and writes about his experiences, gaining the attention of many people, including The Nazi's. Oh, after he was struck by lightning he seemed to have developed some kind of double personality that appears in mirrors and later in the flesh.

Later he flees to Switzerland and encounters a woman named Veronica, who looks exactly like Laura, and her friend heading up a mountain road. Later he goes to look for them afraid they have met harm and he finds the car and Veronica's friend dead and Veronica in a cave. She seems to be in shock and thinks she is a woman named Rupini. She says the last thing she remembers is meditating in a cave and then there was a cave-in. This is really where the movie starts to get really WTF. Veronica starts getting "possessed" by Rupini and heading farther and farther back in time, linguistically. She also starts to age and finally Dominic tells her that he needs to leave her in order to save her. He says that if in 6 months she hasn't returned back to her youth he'll come back. A few years go by and he sees her leaving a train, youthful and with a child. She passes him without noticing him and he returns to his home town. In the hotel where he is staying he begins to have an argument with his other self and he ends up smashing a mirror causing the other self to scream, "What have you done?" and then turning to another, foreign language.

After this altercation he goes to the cafe he used to frequent as a younger man and there he meets some old men who he knew in the past. As he talks about things he's seen and done they start to ask what he is talking about and at some point he is old again. He then grasps his mouth, stumbles out the door, spits up blood and stumbles away. In the morning a man finds him, greatly aged, frozen to death at the bottom of the stairs. In his pocket is a passport with the name of a different man, an alias from the "past/future". Did all this happen? Was it a dream? Does it matter because this movie really makes no sense when you watch it?

I think there is something in this movie, but the execution really failed. It goes from being a movie about a man who gains his youth back in an accident and comes under the attention of a bunch of people to a movie about a woman who gets possessed by something and starts babbling in ancient languages. I don't know what the point is supposed to be. Is it supposed to be a giant paradox? Because for that to happen there should be, you know, a paradox and something that clearly shows that there is a paradox. Otherwise, it's just a movie that makes no damn sense. I read somewhere that people compare it to David Lynch movies and 'Mulholland Drive' in particular. I don't see this. I love David Lynch and I am totally clueless about his movies, but I don't care.

What I loved was that this movie had Tim Roth and some killer cinematography. Some of the shots used were beautiful and the production design was great too. Really everything was fine except for the story because I don't know what I was supposed to be gaining from it.

'Pandorum' clips

Not being a fan of "torture-porn" as the internets call it, but being a fan of sci-fi and movies where stuff is inexplicably deserted (Event Horizon anyone?), I can't wait to actually see this movie. Good or bad, it looks fun. Plus Ben Foster is awesome-sauce to the extreme!

I don't know about you, but if I was Ben Foster in these clips it would definitely be a brown-shorts day!

Friday, September 11, 2009

'The Legend of 1900 (La leggenda del pianista sull'oceano)' Review

A few months ago my Dad was flipping through channels and came across this movie about a piano player who was born on a luxury ocean liner, lived his life aboard the ship and never left.

Let me point one thing out: I absolutely LOVE luxury ocean liners. I love them so much that if I could marry one, I would. I would marry it and have it's little ocean liner babies; it would be awkward, for sure, but I'd do it. I'm not talking about new ocean liners. I'm talking about the old ones: RMS Queen Mary, Lusitania, Queen Elizabeth, Normandie, Titanic; the ships that evoke a different time. A time of leaving your old life and starting a new one, in a new world. A time of luxury, for some, when you paid a fare, boarded a beautiful ship full of brass, wood and glorious luxury around every corner and travelled across the ocean.

Getting back to the the time, I was busy doing something and the movie was almost over, so I didn't want to start watching it at that time. I added it to my Netflix and about 3 weeks ago I had it delivered to me. I just never found the right moment to watch it until last night. Let me preface my gushing about this movie with this: It isn't perfect, but it is really entertaining and moving and the production design and cinematography is fantastic. The movie came out in 1998, but when I watched it I didn't really notice other than some green screen being a little off.

So what is the movie about? I already mentioned it's about a man who was born on the ship and lived his whole life aboard. That's the general story. The movie opens with a man, Max (Pruitt Taylor Vince, a simply under-rated actor in my opinion) entering a music shop just as the owner is closing up shop. He's down on his luck and wants to sell his trumpet. The owner offers him way less than he knows it's worth, but he takes it anyway. As he leaves he requests to play the trumpet one last time. While he's playing the shopkeeper recognizes the song and asks what it's called. He has a recording of the same song that he found broken into pieces inside a piano he recently bought from a liner that was being dismantled. He plays the recording and asks who the song is by. Max tells him it shouldn't exist and tells the story of 1900.

Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon 1900 (the fabulous Tim Roth), or just 1900, was found on the ship by his "father" Danny while he was searching the ballroom for leftover rich people things. He takes 1900 down to the boiler room and raises him until he is killed by a chain that hits him in the head. After Danny's death when 1900 is 8, 1900 wanders onto the first class deck and sees a party through the a stained glass window. Later at night he wanders in and starts to play the piano. He is a wiz at the piano and shortly has the entire 1st class gathering to hear the music being played. He grows up and eventually becomes the ships piano player in the orchestra which is where he meets Max.

The movie periodically flashes back to the present to cover how Max is trying to get aboard the ship to find 1900 and get him to leave before the ship is destroyed. Something he has never done, though he meant to one time to go start a new life with a woman he writes the mysterious song for. He just couldn't leave because there was no end to anything out there. On the ship there is always an end, a piano has 88 keys and there is always a limit from bow to stern.

His fame goes off ship though and a man named Jelly Roll Morton, who claims to have invented Jazz comes aboard to challenge 1900 to a duel. 1900 plays with him for awhile before completely blowing him out of the water. The scene is a little long, but is not only entertaining in content but the cinematography and some of the shots used, particularly one right near the end where the camera sweeps from one side of the piano up and over to the other side, are wonderful.

The movie was very delightful for the most part and the production design, as I mentioned above was to die for. Both the ship as it was and as it is now (which is sometime in the 1940's) is beautiful. And at times when the movie goes from shots of the rusted out dome in the ballroom to the beauty of what it once was, I was blown away. As I mentioned I love luxury ocean liners, but I also love abandoned things too, so those parts of the movie appealed to me as well. As I said, it isn't a perfect movie. I really wondered how 1900 was so clean and fit after supposedly never leaving the ship that has been left alone to rust so heavily. I mean, where did he was his clothes/self and find food? But overall the movie was wonderful and I highly recommend it. I'm going to try throwing some clips in below, one will probably be the last scene, so don't watch it if you don't want to see the end.

Piano Duel

*The shot I mentioned above occurs at 6:59 in part 1*

The End

*That anchor that flew at the camera would have been removed before detonation...*

*Just look at that set, and the cinematography and the camera angles! Gorgeous!*

Playing Love

*This song is beautiful!*


YouTube User darksumiregusa has the entire movie on their channel.

I honestly do not understand how this movie didn't get more attention and awards...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

FULL Depeche Mode 'Corrupt' music video

Yesterday I gave you the True Blood season finale promo with Depeche Mode's 'Corrupt'. Well, today I give you the music video. Awesome!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

True Blood Season 2 Finale Promo

Dave Gahan's voice mesmerizes as the locals of Bon Temps, LA flit about the screen!

While watching the horribleness that is the remake of 90210 (seriously, how can they have an entire show where everyone is off-putting in some way? One is way too skinny, one girl flares her nostrils and purses her lips, one guy plays 17, looks 40 and is's just awful!), I stumbled upon this little promo for one of the best shows on television right now (yes, it's campy. But while it's campy it's also incredibly fun and has some amazing characters). Oh, and on True Blood even the most unattractive people are good looking, kind of like on Battlestar.

Another plus? Depeche Mode. I don't have this song (Corrupt) but I will now!

**And no, I was not choosing to watch 90210. Someone requested to watch it and there isn't anything else on**

Sunday, September 6, 2009

'Amreeka' Trailer

This looks good. It's a nice simple story about a woman who comes to the U.S. with her family from Palestine for a chance to start anew.

'The Men Who Stare At Goats' Trailer

A Coen Brothers movie without the Coen Brothers. 'The Men Who Stare At Goats' stars Ewan McGregor, George Clooney and Jeff Bridges and appears to be about a reporter (McGregor) who runs into a government agent (Clooney) on some kind of secret mission. It's also based on a true story. So that's weird.