Sadly, I can't add fun little photos to each of the sections because my computer is off getting fixed and the one I have isn't mine. So I can't add programs to it. :(
- We meet the queen! She's suckling the thigh of...Sookie's cousin Hadley. Bill looks astonished, which doesn't make sense since I'm sure he's seen worse during his time farting around with Southern Belle Vampire Lorena.
- Hoyt yells at Jessica and says he should've listened to Vampire Bill about staying away from her. I like that they've given Maxine Fortenberry (Dale Raoul) a little more to her character this season besides over-bearing mother. More on that later...
- I have to say that Evan Rachel Wood is absolutely gorgeous as the Queen of Louisiana. She offers Bill some blood from a Latvian boy, "That is simply to die for." He says no. I love how she's clearly reading a magazine from the 20's.
- Bill asks her for help with the Maenad. Yes, Queen, there are orgies. Too damn many orgies...
- She tells Bill they can't kill Maryann, she's convinced herself she's immortal and so she is. Great...so, more orgies in our future?
- She insists that Bill stay the night and leave tomorrow. I let them use my house to film these last few episodes. I was just so sick of living in luxury and decided to go sit under this overpass.
- Oh Christ, Tara, just forget about Eggs. If we just find out he spontaneously died I wouldn't mind. No explanation, no reason, he just died. But no, now we have to listen to her whine and bitch about how she has to save him. Ugh!
- "Sookie, my back pocket, get the handcuffs" "These are fur!" Classic. Of course they're fur Sookie! It's Lafayette! Now Tara's cuffed to the table and goes off on a verbal tirade against them all. That'll help your cause, dumbass!
- Back at Merlotte's it's two idiots and a Sam! Jason says that if the police aren't going to help they have to do it. He read a book, it's Armageddan and this is the oral history of the zombie war...okay, Jason.
- "Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the bible...or the Constitution." Jason you are so stupid!
- Sam finds Arlene's kids in the woods. They ask if something is wrong with their mother and ask if he knows someone, a vampire, who might know how to fix their mom.
- Tara talks her mom into getting the gun from Lafayette and setting her free to go after Eggs. She says she'll forgive her. This woman is dumb as fuck! She's conning you, moron!
- Sookie says inside Tara's head it was like anything could happen and there is emptiness.
- Sookie and Lafayette talk about Eric and what it's like having his blood in them. She asks about sex dreams and Lafayette says he has them too. "Someone need to slap that bitch!", "I have!" Wonderful! And, "And that freaks me the fuck out, 'cause I hate's that mother-fucker more than you could ever know!" Then Tara's dumb-ass mother comes stumbling out.
- One of the stand-out Skarsgård moments is on it's way. Lafayette is terrified of Lettie Mae and the gun and imagines Eric...in Lettie Mae's clothes. Since Alex is significantly larger than Lettie Mae, I'm going to guess they aren't her exact clothes. The scene is priceless! Hopefully someone posted it on YouTube so I can include them below.
- Jason and Andy head over to the police station for some weapons. It's over run with dumb hillbillies with their black eyes. One starts hitting on Jason and he says okay, he'll create a distraction.
- Sookie throws a figurine at Lettie Mae's head and Lafayette grabs the gun! Whoop! Off they go to Sookies...I mean Maryann's.
- Sam and the kids are at Fantasia waiting to be let in. He talks to the kids about their father. Is this coming back to the storyline at some point or is this just filler? That one waitress who's head is empty from being glamored so many times says she can't let them in. Sam bribes her.
- Sookie tells Lafayette he has to suck it up, she needs him at Maryann's. He has to shoot her in the head if she comes near.
- Tara is so frakkin' stupid! Here she is back at Maryann/Sookie's and Eggs hasn't spontaneously died yet, damn it! Maryann tries to shake her into black-eye land but resorts to punching her. Oh, Tara summoned her last season. Great she's a major dumb-ass on SO many levels. So she's to thank for the orgies then?
- All the stupid morons come rushing in to tell Maryann the God Who Comes came and smote Sam Merlotte. She yells at them and causes some kind of shrieking and they all leave. If you are going to create a bunch of black-eyed morons, next time thing of giving them some brains.
- Look, that cop is dumber than Jason! "What's that game with the one bullet in the gun and you don't know if it'll go off? Is that Chinese Firedrill?" "Russian Roulette" "Yeah, that's it!"
- Maxine is making a lovely chip, cheese and Snickers Bar casserole. Yum? They get into a fight and she tells Hoyt that his father wasn't killed by a murderer, he shot himself and she lied about it for the insurance money. She apparently always wanted to be a drunken whore, but had to take care of him. She's not very nice at all.
- Sookie and Lafayette are talking about her house when Arlene and Terry plop down from the trees above. Lafayette leads them away with prescription drugs while Sookie heads inside to, no doubt, get in trouble! "The fine is a 100 million dollars, and your pants"
- Sam is at Fangtasia. I love Pam's outfit! Sam says he'll owe Eric a favor in the future, he asks for Sookie Stackhouse. Pam rolls her eyes.
- Eric shows the kids his teeth and Pam makes a comment about not being glad she never had kids. And then the Swedish comes out! Pam says she'll be smelling the kids for a week.
- Eric flies off to the Queen.
- Sookie encounters, I believe, Jane Bodehouse on the porch. Oh good, she cut off her finger! Then she has to cuddle with the coroner, who is laying on the floor. And there's a dude in the sink! Fantastic!
- Back to the Queen! She's got a lovely line-up of mens and womens half-naked.
- She calls over the Latvian boy for Bill.
- Oh, looks like Lafayette's run into Maryann AND Carl. She starts talking about some poisonous weed and when he shoots at her the bullet bounces off her hand and into Carl's head. She then cryptically asks Lafayette if he cook. Ut-Oh!
- The Queen, Hayley and Bill are playing Yhatzee. She tells him that Maenads haven't changed through the eons and she has to believe that she's summoned this god of her's, who will never come. If she finds the perfect vessel, consumes part of it, then she will offer herself to the god and that is when she can be killed. They prefer something with a beating heart, and is two-natured...I'm seeing a set-up for Sookie being this perfect vessel.
- Hadley talks to Bill. Eric Arrives! He seriously couldn't be better looking than in this scene. This is a wonderful little exchange between Eric and Bill. Bill calls Eric desperate and Eric counters no more desperate than when Bill fed Sookie his blood the night they met. Hmmm...Bill seems a little surprised that Eric knows this. Bill tells Eric to stay away from "Soookeh" or he'll tell the Queen Eric is forcing humans to sell vampire blood for him. Oh! It's on!
- Andy and Jason arrive at Sookie/Maryann's. Jason asks Andy why he never liked him. Jason says he's never had anything easy, he's always worked hard at it. Jason steps up and says they have to save the town, so they have to get along.
- Sookie comes across Tara and Eggs (ugg) smashing shit all over the room and there would appear to be...an egg...on the bed...in a nest? What? And then Lafayette appears. Damn it! He's got the black eyes! Can't this man catch a damn break?
- And we don't get the last episode (*sob*) of the season for two damn weeks! Stupid Labor Day!
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